Motherhood is already hard, but adding friendship to the mix can be a whole other struggle.
When I got pregnant in late 2017 I had just moved to Dallas four months prior and the only friend I really had here was my boyfriend. Although many of my friends were either currently pregnant or already had little ones of their own. All of my friends from grade school through college lived all over the state of Texas hundreds of miles away. Even my family was far. Pregnancy was a very lonely time in my life without having close friends near by to hangout out or talk to.
After the birth of my daughter in August 2018 and being stuck at home for 12 weeks with little to no human interaction I told myself I was going to make some mom friends. This wasn’t easy and actually took some effort on my part, but because I put myself out there I was able to make a few solid friendships and build a tribe of women that I can go out with for a mom’s night out every now and again.
So here are 5 tips on making friends in motherhood:
1. Have a judgement free mindset!
You cant expect to make any friends if you are judging them before they even get the chance to spit their name out. Passing judgment on another momma is a big no no and will likely get you shunned from the mom community. It’s 2020 ladies, we dont judge mommas over breastfeeding, bottlefeeding, droping the f bomb, and letting your kids be kids. There is so much more important things to focus your energy on than what the next mom is doing. Choose to celebrate your differences versus attacking someone on them. Who knows..you might end up finding your new best friend.
2. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.
How do expect to make any friends if you stay at home all day in your sweatpants and breastmilk stained shirt. Trust me I know, this is probably the hardest thing to do bc ya girl loves her sweatpants and messy bun. I’m not saying you have to do the most and put on a fab outfit and heels, but momma, try to break away from your little one and home and treat yourself…YOU DESERVE IT. Go to a spa and get a pedicaure or even browse the aisles at Target ALONE. You never know when you’ll bump into your newest friend when checking out the clearance rack in the baby section! By putting yourself out there you are also putting out the necessary energy to draw in friendships.
3. Join a mom group or make your own.
I know we’ve all heard some horror stories about mom groups. But don’t let that scare you away from trying one. After I had my daughter I tried several different mom groups in the area. There were all great in the aspect of getting me out of the house and Jordyn having the opportunity to interact with other little babies, but for me personally it was never a great fit so I made my own group. Making my own momma group was the best desicion I could have made because it allowed me to find women that I could relate to on deeper levels than just being a mom. There are so many platforms you can use to find or create your own mom’s group. I would suggest meetup.com and search for local groups in your area!
4.Utilize social media.
We are on social media platforms every day so make the most out of it and find your new bestie. Making friends on social media is always a little easier than in person, so if you’re a person who is more introverted or doesn’t have the time to go out and find friends this is a great option for you! Make use of Instagram and find moms in your area by searching for hashtags like #dallasmom #dallasmommy etc. just swap out dallas for your city. From there you will find sooo many women and interact with the ones that seem most relatable to you. Instagram is where I met one of my gal pals last summer in 2019 and we’ve been hanging out ever since! Another great social platform for making mom friends is Peanut. Peanut is an app that is basically the tinder for mom friends. Like literally, you swipe up or down on different womens profiles in your area and see if you match. They also have great message boards where you can interact with women outside of swiping and matching.
5. Have fun & be YOU!
This is the last and most important step. Never try to force friendship. I know its hard because we crave that interaction and friendship, but you should never stress yourself out trying to make friends. Let it happen as organically as possible, you’ll make more meaningful friendships that way. Also, make sure to stay true to yourself. Being 100% authentic is going to bring you friendships that will last you a lifetime. Remember you want to create lasting friendships and build your tribe. Trying to fake who you are will only lead to fake friendships!
I hope you found these tips to be useful! Let me know in the comments how you’ve made some of your mom friends!
With Love, Julianna